I’ve been in a tunnel all week. Figuratively, of course — I say of course because, as a broad category, literal tunnels are not a place I wish to be; open skies, please.
My figurative tunnel has been one of focus. Not in my personally historic way of a bipolar II-esque mania and/or ADHD hyperfixation (not claiming either diagnosis, but the study of them has been instructive in my own life). Rather, it’s what feels like a natural, this-is-what-work-should-feel-like kind of focus that stems in part from:
What occurs to me as I write is that that list likely describes a typical week for a great many people. Alas!, I am not one of them, and as such, feel the need to acknowledge the tunnel whenever I find it, and feel grateful.
However, like a real tunnel, a focus tunnel can be scary when traversed alone. I work for myself, and primarily by myself, and it can be a tad frightening to realize you’ve been walking (working) for four straight hours without looking up. Should I even have been going in this direction? Will I find what I’m looking for on the other side?
On a typical-for-me week, those kinds of doubts are what knock me out of the tunnel. Which saves your ass every once in a while, sure, but mostly it means that you never really get anywhere. And I think a subtle awareness of that … an intuition that if I stopped walking or started doubting, the game would be up … that more than anything, this week, is what got me here to the other side.
Long story short, I’m more excited about what lies ahead in 2023 than I’ve been for any year since … well, it’s been a while, let’s just leave it at that. It feels fucking good, man, is what I’m saying. I’m open to more, Universe, if you’d be so kind. Let’s keep walking.
Hope you’re well, friend. Write back if you’d like.
Still Devil House, by John Darnielle. Still into it.
Primarily Star Trek: Discovery, Season 4 and Supernatural, now on to the final season. The S15 episode where the boys lose their plot armor and have normal problems just killed me, very funny.
To Apple’s “Alternative Workout” playlist, which is kind of awful, honestly, but it’s like the one thing I successfully set up to sync to my Apple Watch ages ago and now I listen to it when I’m working out. It’s so fucking fiddly to configure things on the watch so once something is mostly working I just move on with my life.
Still Marvel Snap and Pokemon Go on my phone, primarily. 🤷🏻♂️ I’ll have some downtime with family soon so I expect to take my Switch with and dig into some games I’ve bought on sale and not played, perhaps the LEGO Star Wars collection.